As I grow, I learn more and more about how important it is to be an active participant in my life. One who makes choices for myself, and puts forth conscious effort toward my decisions and what I want to happen. No more just "letting stuff happen" because too much happens when you just let stuff happen; at least for me it does. I had spent too much of my personal life “going with the flow” and just seeing how things ended up. That’s no longer enough for me.
I learned this the hard way, and not because I'm naive or ignorant, but simply because I grew up in a loving, nurturing family where I learned that those who care about me also have my best interest at heart. And not to say that this wasn’t the case, but sometimes your best and someone else’s best for you isn’t always the same. For a while, I even tried to align myself with what others wanted for me. I stopped actively participating, I stopped making decisions about how things went, and most horribly I just accepted what was given. Ask me how that worked out for me… Not too well, but one thing I am grateful for was the opportunity to learn a lesson that is sometimes hard to come by: if you don’t choose for yourself, it will be chosen for you.
In this current season, I am choosing to do things different. Different action, different results…of course I’ve always known the cliche quote, but I hadn't intentionally applied it to my life. My success or failure in any situation, relationship, or opportunity is completely up to me. What I allow is also my responsibility. Being an active participant does not mean that I won’t hold others accountable, or that my past experiences didn’t also involve another negligent party. What it means is that I’m in charge. In charge of what I allow, what I do, and what thoughts I entertain. There is no room for "it just happened" or "idk how I got here". Those states come with too much guilt, anxiety, and sometimes even pain.
*That's Tweetable* My success or failure in any situation, relationship, or opportunity is completely up to me
Now don’t get me wrong, I understand that I cannot and will not be able to control every single thing, nor is that my intention. However, I do intend to practice honesty with myself, recognize my thoughts, feel my emotions, and choose my behaviors. If I make a mistake then it’s on me, but I refuse to allow anyone else to be responsible for the outcomes of my life. The victim role was never my forte, and I won’t allow it to start now.
What are you doing to actively participate in your life?