September had definitely been an emotional roller coaster of a month. I moved out of my comfy apartment into a bedroom, had some changes in my dating life, lost my beloved grandmother, watched two of my dearest friends confess their love to one another thru marriage, suffered a minor concussion in a car accident, and I also got to see one of my favorite artists perform live. Talk about dealing with one thing after another.
For many this may have been enough to send you off the deep end, I keep saying to myself “I’m glad I know Jesus” because if I didn’t I would surely be in distress. But I’m not; I’m at peace, content, and grateful that God saw fit to entrust me with so many extremities
There is a change going on within me that has been gradual yet noticeable. I realize that I am a lot more at peace, accepting, and less reactive to things outside of my control. I can’t identify all the reasons why certain things happen, or why I frequently experience what some may see as unfortunate events. But the things I can’t make sense of in the natural I attribute to the spiritual.
I know that everything I want, will become, and do in my life will be a byproduct of the things I am experiencing now. I know that God is in control of this crazy world, and the things that I go through don’t come as a surprise to Him. That’s why I could smile and not cry at my grandmother’s funeral, that’s why I could rejoice instead of being bitter at my friends’ wedding, and why I could forgive the negligent driver who rear ended me; because I know that all things work together for the good of those who are in Christ and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).
Getting here took a lot of long nights, tears, prayers, and a complete coming to the end of myself. I don’t want to paint this rosy picture as if it was easy, because it wasn’t (or isn’t) but it is so worth it. It almost brings tears to my eyes when I think about the times I would stress, worry, and literally scream to God about the turmoil of my life. It wasn’t until I gave up trying to do everything in my own strength, and accepted His will for my life that I began to feel better. I literally saw myself growing and I am so proud of how far I’ve come.
I say all this to encourage you and remind you that you are capable of getting through whatever you go through. You may not believe in God, but you must believe in something greater than yourself. Trust that something, and know that your afflictions are not in vain. Remember that you don’t have to do everything in your own strength; there are resources and supports all around you if you allow yourself to be willing to use them. When you come to the end of yourself that is where you will find relief.
What does ‘coming to the end of yourself’ look like for you? What are you willing to do to get there?